Juiced: Why does everything President Bush touches turn to steroids? When he bought the Texas Rangers two decades ago, they appeared—like their team namesake—to be an honest, law-abiding squad. Drug scandals were for teams with roguish names, like the Pittsburgh Pirates, whose favorite dealer was their mascot, a parrot. But in Bush's brief span as owner, Texas apparently became the Colombia of performance-enhancing drugs, exporting users and peddlers throughout the national pastime. As president, Bush broadened his interests beyond baseball. After a jogging injury, he took up biking. In no time, the once-noble sport of cycling tested positive for synthetic testosterone—of which Bush is perhaps the political world's proudest supplier. Of course, we can't be sure that President Bush is responsible for the testosterone in Tour de France champion Floyd Landis' urine.